I am my harshest critic. I am well aware of my flaws and defects – physically, personally, spiritually, emotionally. In self evaluation, I focus on what is wrong that I never credit what went right. I must admit that the after January 1st, I entered a blues/funk. I immediately started thinking about my goals, dreams, and aspirations. After a year and a half in NYC, much seemed unaccomplished. I began to depress myself and the New Year was 48 hours old.
I focused on contacts that failed to result in meaningful network building. Doors that seemed to suddenly close that appeared to be opening. Every so often, that’s when I read a poem I came across years ago. Here’s one portion that I find useful.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.
My translation, maybe you have to meet some unfruitful contacts, to appreciate the people who see the value you add and bring to the table. When one opportunity closes, stop staring at the closed door. Often another opportunity appears, but we’re too busy wondering what could have happened behind the close door that we don’t see the new opportunity.
I had a pity party email rant with a couple of mentors. I call one the “wizard.” The wizard heard my rant and said “let’s meet.” Generally that means a phone call. However, when his assistant asked what time I could come in, I begin to wonder if I was losing another valuable contact. New Yorkers and their time are hard to come by. A come to the office for a sit down chat is serious business. Fortunately, the “wizard” has a heart of gold. He looked at me and said, “Ronda you are being too hard. For those that do not see the value you are bringing, show it to them. If they still don’t see it, move on. The job opportunities that did not materialize were probably places you did not need to be. If you can’t get in through the front door, go to the back.” Now, it was not like I did not know this. Disappointment can bear down on you. NYC is called the concrete jungle for a reason. However, sometimes you need an ally in your corner to give you that pep talk to remind you that you have the goods, so get back in the ring and box (I’m a boxing fan so couldn’t resist).
There is nothing wrong with my vision, I just needed to adjust my lenses. I read somewhere that a dream/vision has three stages: birth, death, resurrection. Your dream is born and you perceive it one way. Life/circumstances happen and you think your dream has died. Then through experiences there is a rebirth of the dream with a new vision. Same dream with a renewed purpose, but your vision is enhanced because of the ups and downs.
The poem I referenced above expresses it better. Here’s another excerpt from the poem:
Ronda is an attorney, writer, and entrepreneur. She is a contributing writer for the Huffington Post. Originally from Chicago, she has lived in Los Angeles and New York. She loves to travel and is passionate about education equity, especially for first generation college students.