A few weeks ago, I wrote Like a Pigeon Stuck in an Air Shaft. In that post, I mentioned feeling like the pigeon stuck in my apartment building’s internal shaft – going a few feet in the air only to come crashing back to the ground. Instead of ending despondent, I suggested that “maybe instead of a pigeon in the shaft, it is a phoenix who dies and is reborn anew.” Imagine my surprise last week when I peered out of my bedroom window and saw two baby rock doves in the corner of a ledge a few feet below.
I thought the pigeon was wounded. All I heard was fluttering up and crashing down. I could not see the nest she was making hidden in the corner far from danger. The early morning chirping made me assume babies, but I did not see them for at least a couple weeks after birth. Although I could now see them, it would take great effort for me to reach them. Mother pigeon knew exactly what she was doing. What I thought was noise, was actually the making of a nest safe from the harm. That morning, I read my devotional. It talked about reframing the picture or our view. Our vision is limited. We cannot see the forest for the trees. The glass is not half full, it is half empty. I read that the eye does not see. It simply transmits an electric signal to the brain via the optic nerve. The brain translates the signal to images that we see. Images are filtered through our brain and life experiences. We see what we want. We are absorbed with what is seemingly going wrong that we cannot see the big picture – what is happening beyond the noise and fluttering.
Every closed door is not a bad thing. Iyanla Visant said that people come in your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. We are so stuck on seasonal people that we cannot move on. Not every person that enters your life will be your BFF. Some people are present to teach us lessons to get us to the next level of our personal and/or professional growth. Others are in our lives to help us past a season of grief, sorrow, depression, or loss. The rare ones are with us for the long haul of life’s journey.
Getting back to those pigeons. I stopped paying attention to the pigeon a couple weeks after all of her noise, sleeping through the fluttering until the morning of seeing the rock dove babies. That is until a well meaning neighbor happened. I heard someone opening a window and throwing something out. At first I was incredulous. Surely no one in NYC is throwing food out of the window considering the rats outnumber us five to one. No one in their right mind would throw food out the window to attract rodents to our building. When I heard the window this morning, I peeked out to find cooked pasta on the ledge. It rained the prior day and this neighbor also threw out a bath towel. Despite her good intentions, all this neighbor did was endanger the pigeons and her fellow tenants. I immediately called the super fearing the pasta would attract rats from the street into the building. Further, the mother pigeon pushed the babies further in the corner. I am still shaking my head over this event. Now the pigeons have to be removed. The pigeon crap alone was a health hazard, but the food in the shaft!
Just like the well meaning neighbor, we too come across people who want to help us in our journey, but only succeed in endangering our situation. Sometimes it is better to walk away and go alone than take assistance from someone that is causing you more harm than good no matter what their intention. The good news is that even when we do not see things working out, they are. Maybe the person or thing necessary for your phase of the journey is not ready. Do not fret. Stay encouraged, but also be vigilant to stay true to who you are and your vision. Game of Thrones devotees understand that every offer of “help” is not worth the acceptance.
Your dream/vision/gift/talent will make room for you. Like the birth and delivery process, your dream will be born when it is ready, not when you want it. Until then, continue to hone your craft and do due diligence in your field. Preparation, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding will propel you when the door of opportunity finally opens.
Ronda is an attorney, writer, and entrepreneur. She is a contributing writer for the Huffington Post. Originally from Chicago, she has lived in Los Angeles and New York. She loves to travel and is passionate about education equity, especially for first generation college students.
THIS REALLY HELPED ME TODAY!! Thanks Rhonda!!